Partners, locations, positions, foreplay, lovemaking... Variety is the spice of life, so the saying goes. Variety of Partners? Well, rather up to you. It’s certainly true that a variety of partners helps us decide what we want from our partner, be that sex, companionship, intellectual
discussion or shared values and beliefs.

The only one or one of many?
A variety of sexual partners enables us to experience the highs and lows, the greats and not-so-greats of lovemaking. Some people find their first partner is their only one and occasionally wonder if life would be different with someone else. Others work their way through a variety of partners not finding want they want. A continuing variety of sexual partners is very much down to personal choice. Please contribute to our polls and surveys; we want to find out what’s happening, what’s normal and what’s not from people out there.

Variety stimulates a relationship
When a relationship has become “samey” – same places, same, same positions, same time, same foreplay – it’s a great idea to change things around. Assuming for a moment you want to stay faithful to that one partner, let’s consider where you can add some variety.

Variety of location
If you want to add spice, just occasionally start foreplay in a different place, the car, on the way home from a bar or restaurant, in the kitchen. You don’t have to carry it through and make hot passionate love over the dining table or the tumble drier. It just adds a little spice and naughtiness. Perhaps make love in front of an open fire and fall asleep with the logs burning (not spitting – ouch!). Once or twice year book a room in a hotel. Spend the day doing things that lovers do, visit a gallery, walk hand in hand, and make love in the hotel room (not reception, you’ll get arrested, or at the very least you’ll draw a large crowd).

Sex for a variety of reasons
Teenagers are often surprised that people older than them can be very sexual. One of the things that surprises teenagers is how adults in loving term relationships look on sex in a whole variety of ways. Yes, sex can be great fun, but it can also be used to reaffirm the loving feelings they have for one another, for companionship, to comfort the partner who is suffering, to express commitment, to recover from grief, and also as a life affirming antidote to our feelings of mortality and impending ageing. Old people make love.

Variety of positions
The sex books and articles on lovemaking often suggest that if you could just get that position right sex would be wonderful. Well, kind of. Different positions do help. Try different positions and see what appeals to both of you. A new position opens up different parts of the body to kiss and caress, it’s not just a different position to thrust away. Once a woman is very aroused (see Penetrative foreplay) then a different position may stimulate her to have further orgasms.

Variety in foreplay
Vary your lead up to lovemaking. Leave a note occasionally, text or email a little loving message. It needn’t always be the same. Make love sensually to your lovers back, or legs or arms. Even when she or he is really aroused you can find that parts of the body that are non-sexual can really be “hot”. The inside of the forearm, the neck, behind the knees can all be supersensitive when someone is really aroused. So there are so many parts of to the body and so many parts you can use to arouse: lips, tongue, fingers, teeth, hands and some nay types of touch.

Variety in Lovemaking
Combine many different positions and all the different types of Orgasmic Triggers and you’ll find there is almost endless variety. A man can be on top of a woman and make her come by whispering in her ear, or he can be underneath and achieve the same by kissing her nipples. With twenty or more triggers and at least half a dozen positions that anyone can use, there are hundreds of variations.

 

Read more...

• The Freeze
  Give women orgasms, men last longer too
   
• Orgasmic Triggers
  Physical and Verbal events to fire her orgasms
   
• Penetrative Foreplay
  Put her in a "Sensual Trance"