Sex Comment and Humour Blog. An entertaining slant on the amusing, lurid and sometimes ridiculous side of sex…

So, International Brazilian centre forward Ronaldo has failed to score with three local Brazilian prostitutes that he picked up after dropping off his girlfriend.

The free scoring AC Milan striker, who normally shoots on sight, was not amused at the sight of the three ladies once he’d booked them all into a hotel. They turned out to be men.

Same side as Ronaldo, just wearing different colours 

Unfortunately they’d sold him a dummy with their graceful and revealing feminine clothes, and he hadn’t noticed their more masculine charms until it was too late. Perhaps they’d lined up holding their groins, like a defensive wall at a free kick, and it was only when he tried to shoot that he noticed the tell-tale signs. Ronaldo, who has been accused of time wasting in matches, wasted no time in this particular mismatch and demanded his money back. Unfortunately the guys didn’t want to play ball, and suggested a much higher sum should be exchanged or they’d blow the whistle on him.

No referee available

Such a foul manoeuvre would normally have Ronaldo dropping to the ground, feigning injury and appealing to the referee. However there was no referee available so Ronaldo called the police to say he’s been the victim of extortion (and presumably Trades Descriptions as well). So how does that leave us thinking about men who play away? While no-one complains at Ronaldos wickedly deceived free kicks his wickedly deceived girlfriend might not be so happy.

It meant nothing……

The normal response that any man has to being caught in-flagrante (and how interesting that that’s an Italian term – with Ronaldo playing in Italy) is that the man tells his girl “It meant nothing to me”. Men seem to think that this should appease the woman. Surely all she wants to know is that her man has feelings for her and no other. So, the man has convinced himself (though not necessarily her) that it’s OK for him to shag someone else as long as there are no feelings involved.

A game of  two halves

But isn’t that a two edged sword, or perhaps a game of two halves? After all, how about if his girlfriend picked up three men, went to a hotel room and shagged them all and then said to Ronaldo “It meant nothing”. Would he accept that or would he show her the red card? More to the point - will she show the red card to him? Looks like an early bath - alone - for Ronaldo.

 Sex Comment and Humour Blog. An entertaining slant on the amusing, lurid and sometimes ridiculous side of sex…

It’s not all good news when you’re a great lover. One of my recent seminars was interrupted by the arrival of a previous attendee. Let’s call him Mike.

The sex seminars I run, incidentally, are all about unleashing the potential of men to be great lovers and unleashing the orgasmic potential of women… Mike, who is among other things, a pub doorman / bouncer, announced that the technique I lecture on (The EROS Technique) should have a warning printed on it.

The problem for him was that since he started using the technique on his new girlfriend she was so won over that she wanted to marry him!

He said he’s only known her a few weeks and now she was texting and calling him all the time. He told the other guys in the workshop that she kept dragging him into bed, while he would wrestle himself away from her saying “No, I’ve got to go to work!” As a confirmed bachelor, the idea of marriage clearly appalled him. His visit to the work shop was to warn other men attending that the EROS Technique also had a downside.

It’s a perspective I hadn’t considered: Can a man be TOO good in bed? What’s your view? I’d love to hear.

Sex Comment and Humour Blog. An entertaining slant on the amusing, lurid and sometimes ridiculous side of sex …

A leading article in the Sunday Times today reports that:

“for many women Viagra has merely highlighted the incompetence of their lovers”

What a fascinating and somewhat disturbing comment on the sexual skills of many men today.

At a time where there is more information than ever before, freely available over the internet and in magazines, it still seems that many men are sadly lacking communication and sensual skills in lovemaking.

For most women, foreplay, both sexual and non-sexual is a critical part of their arousal path so they can reach an orgasmic plateau of excitement. Men tend to think that thrusting is the only way to give a woman an orgasm, whereas thrusting is only one of many “orgasmic triggers” that trip a woman into orgasm or multiple orgasms.

Viagra only works on men, providing mechanical “coupling” assistance only. It is not actually for couples and doesn’t make men into good lovers.

For many women, it has merely highlighted the incompetence of their lovers. More crucially, it has laid bare a female secret that many men never knew.

Penetrative sex does not necessarily give women the best orgasms – and, depending on which study you read, anything from a third to 52% of women never have orgasms in this way. The Viagra revolution has proved that although super-charged erections do a great deal for the self-esteem of men, for women they often create a trail of disaster. According to a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, half the men prescribed Viagra don’t go back for more.