Sex Comment and Humour Blog. An entertaining slant on the amusing, lurid and sometimes ridiculous side of sex…

If any of you are wondering where condoms originated and how they’ve been used through the ages…Ive done a little research. It seems that the condom has been in use since the time of the Ancient Egyptians, at least going back to 1000 BC.

Syphilis

It was the Syphilis epidemic across Europe in the 1500s that gave rise to the popularity of the condom, Gabrielle Fallopius claiming the invention, though it was made of linen rather than rubber.

Rubber had yet to be invented. Initially the idea of condoms was to prevent catching Syphilis rather than preventing pregnancy.

Syphilis is a particularly nasty STD going through three stages, the final stage characterised by a rotting brain, gradual descent into insanity and a slow lingering death. Overdosing on TV Soaps and take-away pizza can have a similar effect.

The first spermicide

Meanwhile, returning to condoms in the late 1500s, someone had the brilliant idea of soaking linen condoms in chemicals and allowing them to dry. As an additional barrier to unwanted pregnancy, this was the first example of a form of spermicide. In the 1700s animal intestines started to be used, the famous (or infamous) Casanova used to blow into them to entertain his women beforehand; proving that boys will be boys even back then.

Casanova’s "Riding coats"

Sheeps intestines were the material of choice, the caeca (the blind pouch at the beginning of the large intestine) being steeped in water scraped and washed. There was even a superfine version which were scented, stretched on a mould and polished. Casanova referred to his condoms as English Riding Coats while the English referred to them as French Letters. Syphilis was similarly attributed to other nations, the English referring to it as The French Pox while the French called it The English Disease.

Rubber and Latex

Vulcanisation (referring to the creation of rubber rather than the planet where Spock originated in Star Trek) was invented in the mid 1800s, and rubber condoms became widely available in the 1870s. Latex was introduced as the material of choice in the 1920s.

Over the next 10 years condom sales rocketed. So now we have the current day, and interestingly life has turned full circle for the condom. Today, people think of the condom primarily as a device to prevent STDs, its original purpose in mediaeval and ancient Egyptian times, rather than a protection against pregnancy. Greater sexual freedom, openness and availability of condoms means that any man or woman should not be ashamed to carry one, although they should be ashamed to blow them up for entertainment like Casanova.

Asking your partner

The only challenge for some people is the slight embarrassment of asking their prospective partner about a condom especially on the first date. Its an observation that most people dont ask for what theyd like in life – whether thats asking for our money back when were unhappy, asking for a better seat in a restaurant, or a lady asking a new partner to wear a condom. There should be no embarrassment in asking.

Casanova’s secret on seducing women

Remember the apocryphal story of Casanova on his death bed? Casanova lies dying, and a young man rushes in to see him. He sits by the bed and leans forward to the dying man…

"Casanova, Casanova" he says "Tell me your secret. How did you persuade thirteen hundred women to sleep with you?"

"Fifteen hundred" whispers Casanova

"OK fifteen hundred" says the young man "How did you persuade fifteen hundred women to sleep with you?"

Casanova beckons the young man closer and whispers in his ear

"I asked them" …

The secrets of the worlds great male lovers have all too sadly died with them. That is about to change: www.lovemakingforum.com launched May 2008

Sex Comment and Humour Blog. An entertaining slant on the amusing, lurid and sometimes ridiculous side of sex…

So, International Brazilian centre forward Ronaldo has failed to score with three local Brazilian prostitutes that he picked up after dropping off his girlfriend.

The free scoring AC Milan striker, who normally shoots on sight, was not amused at the sight of the three ladies once he’d booked them all into a hotel. They turned out to be men.

Same side as Ronaldo, just wearing different colours 

Unfortunately they’d sold him a dummy with their graceful and revealing feminine clothes, and he hadn’t noticed their more masculine charms until it was too late. Perhaps they’d lined up holding their groins, like a defensive wall at a free kick, and it was only when he tried to shoot that he noticed the tell-tale signs. Ronaldo, who has been accused of time wasting in matches, wasted no time in this particular mismatch and demanded his money back. Unfortunately the guys didn’t want to play ball, and suggested a much higher sum should be exchanged or they’d blow the whistle on him.

No referee available

Such a foul manoeuvre would normally have Ronaldo dropping to the ground, feigning injury and appealing to the referee. However there was no referee available so Ronaldo called the police to say he’s been the victim of extortion (and presumably Trades Descriptions as well). So how does that leave us thinking about men who play away? While no-one complains at Ronaldos wickedly deceived free kicks his wickedly deceived girlfriend might not be so happy.

It meant nothing……

The normal response that any man has to being caught in-flagrante (and how interesting that that’s an Italian term – with Ronaldo playing in Italy) is that the man tells his girl “It meant nothing to me”. Men seem to think that this should appease the woman. Surely all she wants to know is that her man has feelings for her and no other. So, the man has convinced himself (though not necessarily her) that it’s OK for him to shag someone else as long as there are no feelings involved.

A game of  two halves

But isn’t that a two edged sword, or perhaps a game of two halves? After all, how about if his girlfriend picked up three men, went to a hotel room and shagged them all and then said to Ronaldo “It meant nothing”. Would he accept that or would he show her the red card? More to the point - will she show the red card to him? Looks like an early bath - alone - for Ronaldo.

 Sex Comment and Humour Blog. An entertaining slant on the amusing, lurid and sometimes ridiculous side of sex…

It’s not all good news when you’re a great lover. One of my recent seminars was interrupted by the arrival of a previous attendee. Let’s call him Mike.

The sex seminars I run, incidentally, are all about unleashing the potential of men to be great lovers and unleashing the orgasmic potential of women… Mike, who is among other things, a pub doorman / bouncer, announced that the technique I lecture on (The EROS Technique) should have a warning printed on it.

The problem for him was that since he started using the technique on his new girlfriend she was so won over that she wanted to marry him!

He said he’s only known her a few weeks and now she was texting and calling him all the time. He told the other guys in the workshop that she kept dragging him into bed, while he would wrestle himself away from her saying “No, I’ve got to go to work!” As a confirmed bachelor, the idea of marriage clearly appalled him. His visit to the work shop was to warn other men attending that the EROS Technique also had a downside.

It’s a perspective I hadn’t considered: Can a man be TOO good in bed? What’s your view? I’d love to hear.