Sex Comment and Humour Blog. An entertaining slant on the amusing, lurid and sometimes ridiculous side of sex…

It seems that the Rude Man of Cerne, a gigantic ancient figure carved into a chalk hillside in England, is slowly fading into the background as grass and moss accumulate on his outline. 

Famous as a fertility figure, the giant sports a huge erection as well as a giant club.  Grazing sheep used to keep his outline clear, but as farmers no longer lend their sheep to the National Trust, the call has gone out for human volunteers to bring the giant back to his former glory.

Legend has it that any woman trying to get pregnant should spend the night alone on the head of the giant’s penis.  I bet some enterprising young man dreamed up that story, hundreds of years ago, as a way of ensuring a regular supply of nubile young women, appearing unaccompanied at night on his local hillside.

You can imagine him checking the giants penis every night for another impressionable young woman. 

“Hi, what are you doing here?” he asks her,

“It’s the legend” she replies “If I stay all night here, on the giants penis, I’ll be with child by the morning”

He sits down beside her, gazing into her eyes… “I’m the giants helper…”

Read more about the Rude Man of Cerne

Sex Comment and Humour Blog. An entertaining slant on the amusing, lurid and sometimes ridiculous side of sex…
 

There was an interesting article on Tantric Sex in the Times on May 31st by the London Times Doctor in residence, Thomas Stuttaford, and Suzi Godson, a well known writer on all things sexual.

Tantric sex is a little like those signs you pass on the motorway to distant towns; places you’ve never visited and probably never will. 

People say they’re lovely, but somehow it seems like a long way to go, and is it worth the journey and what if you don’t like it when you get there?

The article was a little like that; Suzi made the journey with her husband to attend a course on Tantric sex, to see if it’s a place worth visiting.

There are some really interesting books about Tantric sex and some really dreadful, pretentious ones. 

No doubt there are really interesting courses about Tantric sex and some equally dreadful ones, too.  Unfortunately Suzi chose one of the latter rather than one of the former. 

The inescapable conclusion from her article was the course was pretty dire, but that left the questions about Tantric Sex unanswered.  What is it all about and, really, can we be bothered anyway?

A good book on Tantric Sex

Let’s start with a good book about the subject; my recommendation by the way is Tantric Secrets by Cassandra Lorius.  There’s stuff in there that I’m sure everyone would agree with; that sex is a giving, loving thing, for example. We should think about our partners’ needs rather than our own. 

We shouldn’t rush, but instead take our time and enjoy the moment with the person we love. We should view sex as a pleasure oriented activity and not performance related. Three cheers for that. 

Tantra and visualisations

But isn’t Tantric Sex full of wacky religious stuff? I hear you cry. Yes, there are religious overtones and lots of visualisations, for example that you and your lover are connected by waves of energy entering and re-emerging from your bodies at seven separate points called “chakras”.  Now if Tantric sex were a Railway Line I’d be looking to get off at the next station and run for the exit.

Visualisations are fine, in fact many top sportspeople visualise their next action whether that’s jumping, running, throwing, kicking or hitting (sounds like a Friday night fight at the pub doesn’t it?).  Visualisations do help us attain higher performance.  But do we need that in sex? That really depends on what we as an individuals and as a couple want out of sex.

Someone may want an urgent release of pent up sexual tension – masturbation may come in handy here.  Sometimes we want a quick kiss and cuddle, perhaps one climax and off to sleep, if it’s a working day tomorrow. And sometimes, on a Sunday morning, a couple have all the time in the world to indulge themselves with loving, giving sex.  Tantric Sex isn’t really the thing for a release from tension or a quick cuddle. 

Make time in your life to make love

So the jury’s out on Tantric sex.  Certainly in the busy, hectic lives we have nowadays, we often don’t make time for relaxed, sensual sex, and that’s a pity.  Tantra perhaps has something to offer us there. Certainly there’s the message “Make time in your life to make love”.  There’s only one life (like this at least), so shouldn’t we spend some of our spare time making love to the one we love?

Let’s improve

And shouldn’t we seek to improve as well? We set ourselves all sorts of goals in life – to be a better manager, salesman, teacher or whatever.  We take courses in technology or management skills. For the dedicated sportspeople amongst us we book a session with a golf coach, a tennis coach, a badminton coach or whatever sporting endeavour where we seek to improve. In most areas of our lives there are coaches to advise us on “how to do it better”. 

But a sex coach? Could the Tantric Sex coaches be the first of a new breed? Well, there’s a thought…

Sex Comment and Humour Blog. An entertaining slant on the amusing, lurid and sometimes ridiculous side of sex …

Research by the University of Wales has suggested that more than half of British women prefer chocolate to sex.

It’s known that chocolate releases the same “feel good “chemicals into the blood as sex. These endorphins as they’re known scientifically, produce a natural high, and you get that high from sex, physical exercise and chocolate.

So, for the British woman,
why is chocolate better than sex with a man…?

Possible answers include:
1. Chocolate never disappoints
2. You can see how big the chocolate bar is before you take the wrapping off
3. While men and chocolate both disappear afterwards at least the chocolate doesn’t make empty promises to phone you
4. The bar of chocolate will keep it a secret
5. You don’t have to take your clothes off to eat chocolate
6. You can always have a second bar of chocolate and the first bar won’t get jealous
7. The bar of chocolate only makes a small mess
8. You get to choose white, brown or black chocolate (or all three!) and no-one bats an eyelid
9. You can make a bar of chocolate last the whole evening
10. You just know where you are with a bar of chocolate

But why is sex better?
Well the endorphin blast is bigger with sex, and you can have multiple orgasms with a man, and while you can have multiple bars of chocolate the impact on your body shape is quite different. 10 or 15 orgasms (or more) in an hour with a yummy man makes a woman feel fantastic, while 10 or 15 bars of chocolate on a regular basis will take you from a size 12 to a size 18 faster than it takes to say “70% cocoa”.

Let’s face it, chocolate puts on weight while a multiple orgasm not only burns those calories but leaves the woman with a multiple high from all those endorphins.

But how can you guarantee to have a multiple orgasm (or even one)? Well it all depends on the man. I run work shops at AMORA in London, UK on how any man can be a super lover and give his woman multiple pleasures every time.

And one final thought, girls, have you ever considered the notion that you can turn your man into a super lover, have multiple orgasms every time and STILL get to eat chocolate? What a great way to burn off those extra calories from all that lovely chocolate!!