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Men usually become aroused quite quickly. Within a matter of seconds a man can move from being aware of a woman sexually to thinking about sex to wanting sex.
For most men in a relationship it’s a question of managing their own arousal while they arouse her. That mismatch between male and female arousal profiles is often a cause of anger, frustration and disappointment for both sexes.
Guys: recognise when she isn’t as excited as you
Women take much longer to become aroused. It’s not that they are “cold fish” women just need minutes (say 15 – 30 minutes) to be come aroused rather than seconds.
They may also need to have other things in place before they can relax and enjoy sex, such as the room and bed ready, or have a bath, or generally to chill out and think about the prospect of sex.
A woman may want to kiss and cuddle on the sofa before going to bed to get in the mood. Men can be impatient to move on to sex not realising that a woman can be just as impatient – but she’ll be impatient in maybe 30 minutes or an hour not now!
It’s worth taking your time, guys
The longer a man takes in getting her aroused the better. So while he may be very aroused very quickly a man must fight against his “masculine behavioural programming” and recognise the longer term needs of the woman. If a man responds to his level of arousal and launches himself into penetrative sex, then she is not likely to enjoy the experience. If she really enjoys sex she’ll want to do it again. If it’s not a memorable experience then the man shouldn’t be surprised if she becomes less keen in future. So guys: manage your level of arousal!
Arousal problems: Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and Premature Ejaculation (PE)
Both ED and PE are dealt with elsewhere on the site. A great deal of work has been done on both areas, and for any man with problems there are now many sources of help and advice, including this site.
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